Most of us have at least a few relationships where we are "obliged" to have certain people in our lives. This includes family, work associates, and neighbors. You can pick your friends, right? Or not? I've noticed an alarming trend in society, and I wonder if it's just me or are we moving towards "obligatory friendships" and even "obligatory romance"?
When we meet someone for the first time, and you "hit it off", you automatically want to spend more time getting to know this person. You call them or they call you and you arrange another meeting. This continues until the relationship moves to the next level, we will call it "expectations". This means that if I call you I expect that you will call me back, and if we make plans I expect you to show up. Basically. Next, we move into the "assumptions" stage, which means I assume you want to do whatever I'm doing, and you assume the same. This is the final and most definitive stage, where we trust each other and its a give and take thing. Now, what happens if you skip all these stages and go to the last one immediately? hmmmmm. That's a tough one. Think that will work out?
Second scenario: You meet someone and you hit it off. You call them and they don't return your calls right away. You call them again and finally they answer. You chase them all over town to get together and they seem to accept your presence. You start to expect to hang out with them, but see the problem? They rarely, if ever, call you and you are the only one putting effort into the interaction. You move into the assumption level and you are there all alone. One day you get "mad" because they don't show up, or they don't call you back. See what happened there? You had all the information that they were not interested in a friendship but you still pursued it. And you can't get mad at someone else for that.
We can CHOOSE our friends, and we have evolved into making relationship choices based on fear? Not me. I'm sorry if you take it personally, but I really think we shouldn't have to "play" with everyone. That's not reality and that's not how I choose to share myself. I'm looking for people who feel the same:).
peace to you all! xoxo
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2 comments:
What's that about? Have you been stalking people?
haha no Larry, I have not been stalking people. But in the past I have noticed a trend of me putting more into the interaction than the other person does. In doing so, I noticed others doing it, as well.
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