In this moment, I live

I seem to be at a loss for words recently. I find myself saying "WOW" a lot, and even "HOLY SHIT" at times. I consider myself a fairly intelligent individual, yet there are not many words to describe the strange happenings which I find myself enmeshed in. I have made some decisions which have resulted in my life's direction changing a bit, one of which is to be in a long distance relationship. Now, when I say "long distance", I don't mean the valley. I mean almost 3000 miles away, which is practically the moon. I have always said that I wouldn't do this, yet for the second time in the last 2 years, I am "doing it". I ask myself why I can't find anyone who lives within 100 miles of me, yet I have no answers. This man is an amazing human being and we fit together like 2 parts of the same puzzle. Yet I still find myself questioning every aspect of this strange and wondrous phenomenon, much as you might inspect a beautiful new car that you are constantly wondering if it is part of a dream that you have acquired it. Is it real or is it fantasy? Can I just live in the moment and accept that life is offering me something magical, but not quite letting me have it yet? And finally, will I destroy it before it has a chance to manifest in the best way possible?

Living in the moment has always been a challenge for me. It was never in my best interest, as an abused child, as I needed to plan everything so that I was never vulnerable. I find this to be the most challenging step to take in my life right now. To be truly vulnerable, and open to the possibilities that life has to offer, you must let go of the past, and the future, and relax. You can not concern yourself with what others will do, what they will think of you, and what they expect of you. You simply must gather information and make decisions based on that truth, which is the only truth that matters. If someone is constantly unable to meet your expectations, it is not their "fault", but it is information. We have all heard the saying, "If it is meant to be, it will happen". I met someone recently who is of this same mind set, and we emailed back and forth about getting together, only to realize that we needed to let it go and wait until it came back to us. We both realized it wasn't the time, and we were able to laugh about it. When something feels like it needs to be forced, perhaps it is just "not meant to be". Relax and let it go, and see how, or IF, it comes back to you. Make the space in your life for amazing things to happen, and they WILL. We all deserve the best things that life has to offer us, and if you believe that, TRUST that, you will be right EVERY time.

Namaste ~ Andrea