Monday, October 19, 2009

Fear Factor

I hear people say all the time, "Once I figure out what I'm doing, I'll move forward." Isn't this backwards? Don't you have to move forward to figure out your life? Life experiences are what shape us. We have to fail in order to learn how not to. When I hear someone say something like this, I know for sure that they are not in charge of their life. I wonder if THEY know that? Probably not.

Fear is a horrible teacher. When you make choices based on what you are afraid of, it may feel like the safe choice, but in the end, it is the least rewarding one. Do you want to live life being "safe"? Or do you want to learn and grow as much as possible? My friend is in a relationship with a guy, where they are both insecure. Neither of them is able to ask for what they want, and even though they have been together for a long period of time, she is unhappy and, i suspect, so is he. I encouraged her to ask for what she wants, and she is afraid. Afraid that he will not give it to her. So is the better choice to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy, and never get your needs met? Or are you better off facing that fear, speaking your truth, and possibly getting what you want. And, in the end, you will ALWAYS get what you want, even though it may not seem so at the time. If a relationship ends because you asked for your needs to be met, well then, great! Now you can find someone who appreciates you and give you everything you want and deserve. It may not feel good at first, but let me tell you, it is the better place to be. Anxiety and insecurity are NO WAY to be in a relationship. If you choose to be in your truth you will ALWAYS win.

2 comments:

arevolutionofone said...

When you say that you have this "friend".... B-). Seriously now, or as serious as I get, I agree with you totally here.

Andrea said...

i really DO have a friend. when was the last time I was in a ling term relationship? so you KNOW im not talking about me:)